


Loneliness is My Best Friend

by http_pcy



Category: EXO
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff and Angst, High School, Mentioned EXO, Out of Body Experiences
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-27 20:17:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21124628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/http_pcy/pseuds/http_pcy
Summary: Chanyeol is 18 years old with a very small friend group. Maybe it's because of the burdens he forces himself to carry or maybe it's his crippling anxiety... but lets be honest, its probably both.





	1. Chapter 1

It's hard to accept his own problems, how can he when there are people who are facing worse things? Being betrayed by somebody you admired and cherished really fucks you up, but it also toughens you up he thinks.

The silence and loneliness is unbearable most times however. 

Chanyeol is 18 years old with a very small friend group. Maybe it's because of the burdens he forces himself to carry or maybe it's his crippling anxiety... but lets be honest, its probably both.

Not long after this said person betrayed his trust and did a complete 360 with their damn personality, his anxiety sky rocketed and so did his extreme body pains. He felt misunderstood, his pains aren't just headaches, they are extremely unbearable pains that he has to push through as he makes his way to school at 7am. They're pains he has to tolerate as his friends jokingly shove him, and with each and every shove and slap the intense scrutinizing pain that feels like a jackhammer being slammed against his skull increases. For him to only go home sleep for an hour or two and then wake up with the same redundant pain. Pretending it doesn't affect him as he does his homework is torturous.

How can he make friends and potentially meet the love of his life if he keeps shutting everybody out? It all feels so pointless, whenever his friends ask him to leave the school grounds he can't help but refuse because the more he moves the more he'll trigger the beating ache in his weak head and neck. Which leads to a few hurtful jokes to be thrown around by his friends.

They're just jokes, he reminds himself. They don't understand your pain, it's ok. 

The few feeble attempts at making friends were deemed unsuccessful, which led to disappointment, but in no way was it a surprise. 

\- - -

His chest heaved as he made his way up the stairs, his hair clung to his forehead as he hurriedly scampered to his first class. His heart almost jumped out of his chest at the thought of having to sit in a different spot. 

God, no thanks.

Entering the almost empty class he slumps into his usual spot. A few minutes pass and the few sweaty strands of hair dry out and his heartbeat resumes to normal. Students start filing into class, but Chanyeol pays no mind as he keeps his head down, scrolling through Twitter and letting out a few giggles as he watches some random cat videos.

"May I sit here?" asks a really tall boy, halting Chanyeol from awkwardly rubbing at his runny nose.

"Y-yeah of course." Chanyeol all but barely mutters as he quickly draws his hand away from his nose, inwardly cursing at himself for being caught wiping his snot.

Many thoughts flooded Chanyeol's head, all in relation to, "why the hell did this boy sit next to me?" A peculiar situation if you ask him. As per usual he was too shy to make a move and befriend the seemingly nice boy, so he did what anybody else would do. He waited for the lecturer to call his name out during the attendance to then look the boy up on social media! 

"Oh Sehun?"

"Here!" The boy next to Chanyeol exclaimed a bit too happily. 

Oh Sehun he repeated inwardly as he discreetly wrote it at the bottom corner of his foolscaps.

\- - -  
Should he wait a few days before following the boy on Instagram? Would it be weird to follow him the same day he asked to sit next to Chanyeol?

Oh fuck it.

Clicking the follow button, Chanyeol squealed out of embarrassment and face planted into his bed. He just hopes that the boy accepts his follow.

In the meantime he should probably start his homework... or so he thought as he scrolled through tiktok. As his eyes went to scan over the time in the left hand corner he realised he spent three hours doing nothing but scrolling through his phone. Out of curiosity he checks if Sehun accepted his follow request, not only did the boy accept it but he followed back!

Maybe life isnt all that bad he thought sighing dramatically as he hugged his phone. Maybe he wants to be friends after all! 

\- - -

It was Chanyeol's last lecture and he couldn't wait to get home and lay in bed for the remainder of the day.

"I really like your art style." Is the first thing his new acquaintance says as he takes a seat next to Chanyeol.

Before Chanyeol got a chance to stutter out a reply Sehun rubs the nape of his neck and adds, "I stalked your profile and saw that you had an art account. I followed it! you're really talented." 

Chanyeol flushes a deep colour of crimson as he bows his head and mutters out a "thanks".

"I wonder what I'd look like if you were to draw me." Sehun mumbled and giggled, "Sorry I tend to think out loud a lot." 

And when Chanyeol says his heart melted at the sight of Sehun's creased eyes and plump cheeks, he meant it wholeheartedly.

\- - - 

So obviously like any normal human being, the next time Chanyeol saw Sehun which was a week later, he handed him a drawing of the boy.

He was painted as red as a tomato doing so, but Sehun didn't seem to mind. In fact the boy was ecstatic, "You actually drew me? This is the sweetest thing anybody's ever done for me, I love it!" 

Sehun immediately shot up out of his seat and went to grab Chanyeol's arms, and in the gentlest manor, he pulled him up and hugged him.

Chanyeol was the first to pull away, because even though he was enjoying every second of that embrace he didn't want to weird Sehun out. 

"it's nothing really." Chanyeol timidly smiled as he slowly sat back down. "You free at 12?" Sehun questioned.

"Yeah i have three hours free after this lesson.." 

"A new store opened up close to here wanna come with?" 

Chanyeol was about to say no because he had horrible facial pain that day, but how could he say no to a face like Sehuns? That's right, he can't.

"Sure." he chuckles lowering his head instinctively.

\- - - 

"No way do they have this vinyl, and its not even expensive.. We need to come back when i have enough money!" Chanyeol exclaimed, to only look down at the floor in embarrassment. He probably came off as annoying, what if Sehun didn't want to hang out again?

"Hmm so you do talk." Sehun smirked, striding over to where Chanyeol was scanning through some vinyls. 

Chanyeol glanced up at Sehun and huffed out a laugh. 

"Let me be shy in peace" Chanyeol whined as he shoved Sehun lightly with his shoulder.

\- - -

Yesterday was great, he socialised with an actual human being, whom he kind of likes, he actually did that without the help of others. He did that.

He has absolutely no reason to be sad.

So why is he sad? He has friends and he literally made a new one not long ago yet he feels so lonely.

Maybe he just wants to be reminded randomly that people appreciate his existence... that he's thought of if that makes sense. 

He knows that his friends absolutely love and cherish him, they've made that clear. But Chanyeol seems to crave something more... as if something's missing.

He enjoys making people happy and being the reason for their beaming smile.He find oleasire in making others feel included and heard. Ever since he was a little boy his parents always told him, "treat others the way you'd like to be treated." 

Chanyeol lives by those words, he values people's feelings so much. So why does life keep dragging him down? Even after all the times he's spat in the face of fury and counted his lucky stars.

Why does his idiotic brain have to focus on such miniscule things that don't even mean a thing. It's so frustrating, it's as if his mind takes pleasure in stressing itself out.

He just hopes that maybe things with Sehun will be different. 

Maybe he'll feel special.


	2. Chapter 2

These feelings tend to get old real quick. Chanyeol can only sit through the unwanted conflicts happening in his head as he scribbles on his notes relentlessly. The teacher's babbling can barely be heard in the background as Chanyeol's eyes well up with balloons of tears. one by one they fall onto his blue stained paper. He embarrassingly wipes away the tears noticing that Sehun glanced at him, a worrisome expression flashes across his face but he stays silent.

He doesn't understand these overwhelming emotions that wash over him at the most random times. One second he's having the time of his life and the next he feels this endless void circling within him all until it overtakes his whole body and mind. 

That day Sehun asks if anything is wrong and if he can help in any sort of way, but as per usual Chanyeol says he'll be fine as he doesn't want to burden the boy.

He goes home only to lay in bed and stare at his ceiling and occasionally watch tiktoks. He misses his friends, he's happiest around them so whenever he's alone with his relentlessly crude thoughts, it gets hard to breathe and he loses all motivation. To make matters worse, he barely gets to see his friends as they're both busy with school and their own lives in general, Chanyeol wish he could say the same.

His stressful thoughts are put to a stop when he feels his phone vibrate next to him. 

It was a text from Sehun.

the text read; "If i tell you where I live would you come over? I'm really sad."

Without any hesitation Chanyeol replied with a yes.

\- - - 

"I swear, some god must have sent you." Sehun mumbles as he opens the front door, instantly pulling Chanyeol into an embrace.

"what's got you down?" Chanyeol asks hesitantly as he plops himself onto Sehun's single bed. 

"I don't know... I tend to get sad randomly and none of my friends really have much free time so i said fuck it and asked of you were free." Sehun replied in one breath, he looked kind of embarrassed as soon after, his face flushed a deep red.

"You've basically explained my countless breakdowns ive gone through this week."

Once Chanyeol said that Sehun looked less embarrassed, however a look of contemplation crossed his pale face.

"is something wrong?" Chanyeol questioned.

"Can I have another hug? I rarely ever get to hug anybody and a hug would feel great right now."

Chanyeol gently pushes himself off Sehun's bed and padded his way over to where Sehun was seated next to his desk. Once Sehun got up he quickly pulled Chanyeol into his arms and held him as tight as he could. "Can you maybe not choke me in the process?" Chanyeol said struggling to actually get the words out.

"Sorry" 

Sehun gently laid his arms on Chanyeol's shoulders and tucked his face into his neck and they both stood there, tracing patterns on each other. After a while Sehun heard sniffling and pulled back to see Chanyeol's face flushed red and tear stained. "I'm sorry.." He sniffled.

"I guess we're both a big fat mess at this point huh?" Sehun sighed sympathetically.

"I barely get hugs either and rarely ever get to see my friends so I'm really comforted and overwhelmed right now."

"We could be there for each other if you'd like?" 

"That would be wonderful.." Chanyeol sobbed, tucking his head against Sehun's neck and pressing him closer to his body.

**Author's Note:**

> I started a new thing! might continue my old thing! follow my twt @tunasamwichh lets be friends or sumthin


End file.
